Young Booger perfects the Withering Glare

Posted by Ned (Toronto, Canada) on 22 December 2006 in Animal & Insect.

Happy Birthday Clare!!

In this picture Booger is sending out a beam of pure psychic hate energy at either myself or Mia (I don't remember who). This was taken the first day little Boog had come home, and perhaps the first time he had approached his glass. (They say that hate is taught, but luckily for Booger he is a natural)

I am working on getting myself some kind of new camera at some point soon so I will be able to stop using archived pictures, but for now I have been trying to pick good ones.

I have no science or facts to relate to this picture except that hamsters have rather poor vision. So if you want to touch one you should talk to it first. What you decide to talk to the hamster about is up to you. I find that mine are not too into talking about politics but do like to hear about current events. And they especially do not want to hear any sports talk as their chief love in life is loafing.

Try to pick something the ham may be able to relate to, like how it feels hot in here, or how your food may smell good but you aren't sharing today because your sandwich has onions on it. I don't know, it is up to you.

But anyway, be sure and talk to your ham because he/she may not see you coming and think you're trying to eat him/her. If you've been keeping up with ham science you'll know that a startled ham can turn into a deadly ham.

I have compiled some useful hamster survival tips for you, just in case.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WARNING DANGER ATTENTION PELIGRO CAUTION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hamsters Are Everywhere......
Odorless, Tasteless, Invisible, Highly Trained and Insidious:
These hamster-assassins are dark stalkers of evil.

Hamsters see your every move waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
Useful Hamster Survival Tips:
i. Don't converse aloud with those around you (use sign-language or semaphore or smoke signals or something, whatever you feel most comfortable with will be fine), the hamster will think you're teaming up on it
ii. Don't have parties, if the hamster finds out it has not been invited it will think that it is unpopular and become enraged
iii. Don't stare at any visible hamsters, hamsters hate to lose staring contests
iv. Don't stare at the sun......
v. Don't loot dead hamsters, hamsters need their earthly possessions in the underworld
vi. Don't run around saying "Woo! Look at me, I am a hamster and boy am I tough! Woo!" while waving your arms around; obviously this is abrasively insulting to the hamsters
vii. Don't derive or integrate complex functions while hamsters are watching, they will covet your intellect. Especially not cosecants, hamsters hate cosecants.

If you or anyone you know thinks you have seen a hamster: You/They haven't!

If you or anyone you know when asked if they can dance replies "I used to could so I reckon I might could again if I tries," You/They can't!

Same Deal

Unfortunately such measures above offer only limited protection from hamsters.
Only a SkuzzCo Amulet of Hamster Warding is active as a COMPLETE ANTI-HAMSTER DEFENSIVE MATRIX
For your absolutely FREE SkuzzCo Amulet of Hamster Warding
Send $36.98 shipping and handling (Non-Refundable) to:

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465 Hasbrook Lane, Toronto, ON 7H5 J4B
or call: (416) HAM-STER
Romans, please call (IV-I-VI) IV-II-VI-VII-VIII-III-VII

Just listen to our customers:

"I bought a SkuzzCo Amulet of Hamster Warding and I have never been attacked by a hamster since" - Wayne Gretzky

"I...really...like...it. [SkuzzCo Amulet of Hamster Warding]" - Bill Clinton

"911 doesn't respond to in home hamster attacks, and insurance no longer covers Syrian-shadow-stalker related hospital bills, it just wasn't fair. Until I got my SkuzzCo Amulet of Hamster Warding!" - Anonymous Fed Up Hamster Victim

ps. thanks Jared

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