This was the first day I had Skuzz, he had no name

Posted by Ned (Toronto, Canada) on 17 December 2006 in Animal & Insect.

This was taken by Mia on the first day we got Skuzzball, the box he is next to is the box that he came home from the pet shop it. You can almost make out that it is labeled "FROZEN PORK CHOPS" and that was also briefly Skuzz's name.

I will attempt to post some archived hamster pictures but there will not be any new ones (for now). Unless someone would like to donate a digital camera to me, or trade one for some item of mine (I collect books and records and extra big mugs and glasses). My camera went missing when I was being uncooperative with the public authorities. (And because of this I would like everyone to listen to the first Body Count album today, also you can make the joke that Body Count is your favourite Black Metal band (If this joke goes over your head don't feel bad, not only is it a fairly stupid joke it is also involves a reference to one specific song by a band that nobody likes and which shall not be named unless you decide to ask me, though it would be fairly lame to try to explain a joke at that level) , plus their bass player calls himself Mooseman which I think is really funny (I assume his moniker is referring to part of his anatomy, though on second thought it may actually be because he plays the bass with about as much finesse as a moose would. Bear with me here this paragraph is getting a bit silly, but anyway if, for some reason you do not know what a moose is and thusly what Mooseman presumably is named after, (or have no idea why I find this man's name hilarious). Just try to picture one of my hamsters, except seven hundred twenty thousand times bigger, with cloven hooves and a gigantic set of fuzzy antlers, the sort of beast that if you ran into it with your car your whole car would break and you may injure one of it's legs. Moose are only found in the Northern Hemisphere and a group of moose is called a gang and they are one of the National Animals of my native Canada (I feel it is bogus to have more then one National Animal but having to decide between the moose and the beaver would be a risky call) (I have always known the moose by that name, but I am led to believe that European people call the moose the elk which means that the word "elk" is doing double duty because (at least in Canada) the elk and the moose are two distinct animals) Also people like to hunt moose here, and in Sweden they especially like to hunt them. I have never tasted moose meat though I think we would probably go to the trouble of actually farming them if they tasted any good. It must be the version of the record with "cop killer" on it though or the overall effect will not be as profound. And if you happen to be an officer of the law you can very easily be a cop killer (hint hint). If you are not one of the cops who roughed me up then please protect all of us from the ones who like to be brutal) So anyhow, the crooked police either stole or destroyed my camera, likely both.

Something I have never quite understood: I have been a fan of Tracy Morrow since I was in 10th grade. You know him as Ice-T. Himself, as well as his band Body Count (which is interesting in their own right as they pretty much invented the idea black guys in a metal band singing about the same stuff that their rapping contemporaries were, except they actually played instruments and didn't just endlessly sample funk records, Living Colour [they are American but colour is their correct spelling ?!?] is also a black metal band, but not the same sort as the Norwegian ones-hence the lame joke {though their single "glamor boys" puts up a pretty decent argument against their black metal status err metal status anyway, I can't get enough of the black metal joke} )
Ice-T is puzzlingly no longer a black metallurgist who wants to shoot police, but an actor who (in my opinion) does a pretty good job on police drama shows playing none other then a cop.

During the late 1980's and early '90s in the US when the PMRC (look it up) was trying to censor all sorts of music it is said that at a meeting of the PMRC (or it could have been the NRA, either way a group of nasty bigots) Charleston Heston actually read aloud the lyrics to the Body Count song "KKK Bitch" which must have been a hoot.

And another thing about Body Count, it takes either serious dumbassery or serious balls to bother putting songs on your album (and I am totally serious about this) that do things like repeat the words "body count" and "b-c" for 2 minutes and 46 seconds!!!!! (and that's just the "Body Count Anthem") in "Body Count's in the house" I counted the words "Body Count" more then 65 times!!! In 3 minutes 24 seconds, respectively.

If you do like my writing let me know, because I have fun with it. And I don't really want any cops to get killed, I am just grumpy about my dealings with them. In any type of "public trust" position there can be people who abuse. Just as I can open your locks, except police wield quite a bit more authority then locksmiths. And at least they didn't riddle me with bullets when I was reaching for my wallet.

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